Ok, you know what? No. Stop all of this.
I went through my blog filter with the word 'awkward' and I've read all of my entries. Kind of took my mind off from stuff. Well, not really. But I've realised how dramatic I sound. There is nothing more I hate than being dramatic bitch.
Yes, I do say that I can be a Drama Queen, if I ever want to, but no. I don't want to whine all the time, ok? I have feelings for someone? Fuck that. I spent 19 years by myself and I was more than fine. I don't care if everyone is looking for their soulmates. I don't need that. I am perfectly fine without mine.
It's not that I wouldn't be happy in a relationship, I would, God, I would probably be the happiest person ever, but that's not the case here. What I'm trying to tell you is that I am so bored of all that 'oh, so, you don't have a boyfriend yet?' or 'I want one too' shit. I am a young, independent woman who is perfectly happy being alone. I guess more of a issue here was that I don't hang out with my friends everyday. Well, then I'll have to grow up and be responsible adult that doesn't need someone by her side 24/7. I have myself for that and I am perfectly fine by taking care of myself.
I feel really happy right now. Well, angry and happy. You wanna know why? I'm happy, because my life is as good as it can be. My family is healthy, I am healthy, I am not starving and everything gets better and better everyday. I am really happy about it. And I'm angry because I'm so stupid, but that's not the point.
You don't want to hang out with me? Fine. More than fine. Just give me heads up, so I wouldn't be annoying and text you suggesting to meet up. Because it doesn't matter for me who texts first. It's always mostly me and yes, sometimes it annoys me too, but I don't care. To be honest, after a while I will become bored as well. Even if it takes longer for me.
And I'm hungry. But that's not the topic, is it.
I'm just glad that my Family is alright, ok? And by 'family' I don't mean just blood thing. I have friends that I would gladly call family. And everyone who goes outside my 'family' circle can suck it. Well, I mean I do love them as well, but I will be hurt less if they would decide to ditch me. It would sting, but for a short period of time. The ones that I could call 'family'... well, that's another thing. But I doubt any of them could actually do that to me.
Ok, I'm gonna stop right here because that sounded emotional and I will not be emotional. I'm going to watch supernatural and laugh my ass of from the zombie apocalypse that they are having in season 11. It's so fucking funny, I can't even.
I hope I didn't scare you with my posts, I'm quite unpredictable, as you might have noticed.
Have a good and lovely evening, because I will have that. With cup of peppermint tea and a few cookies. Love you all, guys x
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