Does it sound like I'm a slut?

So, I was looking in the mirror today. More specifically, I was staring at my hickey. Oh, yes, another one. This time it's visible and really big. So, as I was saying, I was staring at it and I started thinking about how would it look to someone else, who doesn't know how I got it. I mean, I like to think what people think of me.
First impression was, of course, that I slept with someone. Well, people who know me (friends) will truly know that's not true,because, admit it, if I'd lose my virginity, I'd tell everyone. God that came out wrong. But I like to brag, I can't keep anything to myself. So it would eventually slip. Anyway, that was my first though. Second one was, that maybe I fall out of bed or something and I hurt myself. But that's a nonsense, right?
Anyway, with all this thinking (I did a lot of that today) I've realised something. While bragging that I was playing truth-or-dare and got kissed or got hickey, I realised that I might look like an easy-going girl. I mean, yes, I am a virgin, but maybe I look like someone who would sleep with anyone if place was right? Because oh my God that is so not true. Yes, I do love kisses and hickeys actually drives me crazy (I know that it may cause skin problems but I don't want to think about it) and playing truth-or-dare is like the best part of our chill nights, but God forbid (even if I'm not really a believer) I would never sleep with my guys. That sounds wrong and I imagine that every time I talk about my friends who are boys it sounds like I'm a slut. Oh well, I only care about my friends opinion of me. I hope I don't look like that to them. Maybe that's why I haven't seen them in two days? Well, it's their choice, I suggested to meet up, they didn't want to and it's not my problem then.
But yeah, let's get back to the topic. As I was saying, I kind of have an addiction with kisses. I mean I consider myself quite a good kisser (no one complained) and why I shouldn't do what I'm good at? I don't have many talents, let me use ones I do have. I mean, is it that bad to kiss another person? Of course I wouldn't kiss someone who has SO, I'm not the bitch, but with both parties consent it's absolutely fine. Now, it may look like I say 'yes' to kisses and hickeys whenever I had something to drink, but that is so not true. Well, yeah, I've kissed someone while being sober like one, maybe two times, but it doesn't mean I wouldn't do it again and again. God, I can't even describe how much I love kissing. Though it sounds so personal, doesn't it? Well, I don't have anything to hide. Read me as much as you want, there is nothing that could make me feel embarrassed. Well, I mean, there are stuff that can make me blush, but anything I write here? Nope. I can talk about it with a total stranger. Yes, it might seem I have no idea how to keep my mouth shut. And you are absolutely right, but I don't believe anything I said could be used to hurt me.
But back to the topic. Do I really sound like an easy-going girl? I mean, hanging out with guys is WAY easier than with girls. To be honest, I have no idea how to be with them. I can talk with my girlfriends from Lithuania just because I know them for ages. The new ones? I feel like there is no bond between us. But anyway, I know that I, myself, can be a bit of a drama queen, I explained it in, I think, my last post, but I do try not to be one. I hate making someone feel uncomfortable because of me. That's why it would probably be really strange for me to make out with another friend that I still haven't kissed. I heard guys talking that it would be really interesting for them to see his reaction. I don't want to lose my friends just because they want to see someone being uncomfortable around me.
Anyway, I have another confession. You all know my Brad-the-cuddling-pillow, right? Well, two days ago, my friend let me try out what it's like to lay on a real chest. It was for like 3 seconds, no more and I, obviously, said that my Brad is better, but for the past two days I can't sleep on my pillow anymore. And if I do try, I can't think of anything else apart the real deal. God, I really need someone to sleep with me. Not sleep sleep, I like being like an ancient stuff (a.k.a. virgin nowadays) but I want someone to just lay by my side and sleep. Even if I was told that I snore. I'm sorry for that, really, I had no idea... Either way, if not my drama two days ago, I would probably have had this situation. Like, the one where I sleep with someone. But hey, maybe it's for the best. It's enough for me to have hickeys on my neck, I don't need even worse opinion about myself in my friends' eyes.

I really hope it wasn't boring or insulting or caused any bad feelings for you. I know it's late but I had this stuck in my head for the whole day and I really needed it to be said somewhere. I love to have my blog here. Even if my old friend gave me a lecture about being really dramatic here. Sorry, guys, I really love you and I'm really really happy that you are reading this ;3

Have a best night/day ever x

here is a gif of a perfection from 'relationshipaims' dashboard. That it so what I want. Cuddles and kisses. Thanks for sharing this gif, I can't stop looking now ;/