I hope you're happy. I really do. I love seeing people happy.
As for me, I wasn't too happy. Don't get me wrong, everything is fine, but I just felt somehow strange. I woke up as usual, with my alarm, I had breakfast, took a shower, put my makeup one, went to work, even had a great kebab, but thorough the day I just felt like something is missing. Or maybe it's just a type of hangover.
I went out yesterday. Again. And before you start judging me, let me tell you that I didn't drink that much. I had a few ciders/beers and they weren't even usual strong. I went out with the group of awesome people (the same from Sunday) and to be fair, they all are pretty cool. Tho to be honest, it really annoyed me that it was so many of us and we couldn't be all together. You see, there was like, pairs of people. Best friends, mates and stuff like that and I was just kind of the one tagging along without my pair. So I tried going to one of the groups and realised that's not what I want, then I tried following the bigger group but I really didn't like where they were. Like, the basement of the Mosh was shit yesterday. So I just kind of spent my hours there singing to songs I knew and walking around drunk people. Now, don't get me wrong, I love hanging out with drunk people, they are adorable! But all I wanted to do was dance and I had like one or two songs for that in total. Plus, it was so freaking hot in that club I would rather stand outside, which was crowded as well. To be fair, I was so inlove with Mosh when I went there with others, but yesterday was so disappointing. Especially the part that I had to pay four pounds for the entry.
On top of that, my feet were burning from heels that I wore. I mean, I can't remember the last time I had them on, so obviously it took a while to figure out how to walk in them, but yeah, by the end of the night I just took them off and walked home barefoot. I regret that now, because my feet are really sensitive now. It was a nightmare to walk today - tho thank God for my comfortable shoes, they made it a bit better.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I liked yesterday. I haven't been out for so long and I like people I hung out with, but I suppose I'm not used to British friends anymore. I got used to my lithuanian friends. Gosh, I need my housemates here asap. I actually honestly can't wait for uni to start. It's going to be awesome year, I can feel it.
But yeah, anyway, I got back from work and I literally been laying on sofa for the past four hours. I sat up just to make myself a cup of tea, so yeah.. maybe it's the autumn. Maybe it's just my pms, that bitch should come around this time. Maybe it's just that I need to be more consistent with my vitamins or just go to the doctors and see what kind of vitamins do I need. Either way, I feel somehow empty today. Something is missing. I'm pretty sure I know what it might be, but I really don't want to think it is. Yeah, I know, that sentence was confusing.
I was watching couples walking down the street today and it was... how do I say it? Sad? Nostalgic? I don't know. But I wished I had someone by my side. I know I told you guys that I don't want to date at the moment and I don't. I just want someone I could watch tv-shows all day and cuddle and eat junk food and just enjoy life. But knowing how long it takes me to trust someone, I don't think that's really possible for any time soon. I'm gonna end up living with 30 cats, won't I?
I'm sorry I put this on you. I don't know why I think about this. I've seen what heartbreak can do to a person and I don't want that. I like how it is now. Probably.
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