I am a good liar, you know. I could never tell what really happened. I told him I was walking with my friends back home and my friends pushed me into the bushes. I mean, you want to believe it, believe it. You don't want to, it's up to you.
Anyway, it was a hot day today. 6 hours in the sun is no joke. My hands have different suntan and I hate it so much. I hope I'm not working outside this week anymore. Well, I'm not working tomorrow, because I need to present my assignment, but on Wednesday... oh, yeah, I'm getting promoted on Wednesday as well (I was supposed to do it today, but my Boss asked me to do it on Wednesday, I'm so cool with it). I'm gonna be a full time fundraiser now. Honestly, I can't believe my first year of Uni is over. How the hell? I didn't even notice how quickly seven/eight months passed. I met so many wonderful people, I got so much new experience it's hard to actually believe I'm the same person. Though probably I'm not.
For sure, I did realise I am a bisexual. That's the fact. Someone told me they wouldnt be surprised if I went full lesbian, but we're not talking about that. I also got a lot more confident and aknowledged what my body needs. I'm not saying I didn't know before, it's just I became quite open about it. I was told by someone, that they haven't met a girl like me anywhere. That I'm really strange in a good way by not being afraid to talk about sex or something that you don't usually talk about.
But let's put aside my growth of confidence. What I want to talk about is how much I've changed in the past academic year. When I came here, I realised I can't speak English as good as I thought I did. I became complexed about it, I was afraid I won't have any friends because of this, I was afraid that I won't be able to be a responsible adult. Look at me now - I have a good job, I have friends, I love the way I speak English (even if it's not perfect) and I'm a responsible adult. Well, know much responsible we can still debate about it, but seriously, I managed to keep myself alive with the roof over my head for eight months now. That is so awesome. I'm so freaking proud of myself. I hope I do keep up with this good work.
Anyway, I have noticed that I've started to think about my first crush, a.k.a. my boy best friend a lot. Not in a good way, obviously, but someone told me they saw him with his girlfriend and that I did a freaking great job by not clinging on him, so I've started wondering if I'd like to see him when I get back to Lithuania. Yeah, I do plan to go back for a bit in the summer. I want to visit my family, spend some time in the village, have a few parties with my old friends, just... relax. I'll probably hear a lot of 'so will you come back after you'll finish uni' but honestly, I love England. I love rain, I love people, I love everything here. I do miss my country, sometimes, but that's more of what I've left there, not all of it. I say to everyone that people in lithuania are mean. They are mean, at least where I came from, but I still like the place I grew up in. But yeah, talking about the crush - I think I do want to meet up with him. Just to let him see how much I've changed into a better me and how much he had lost. Actually, I really want to show everyone how much I've changed. Can't wait to see their faces when I get back.
But yeah, I'm gonna get back to my commentary now, or I won't do it at all and that wouldn't be good.
love you guys so much xx
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