So, officially, everyone is gone from Leicester and I have no one to drink coffee with. Not that anyone drank it with me before, but still. I feel so lonely. I really really hoped I won't feel like it. I woke up today, had breakfast, watched a little bit of 'New girl', then fell asleep, then watched it again, then again, slept and now I had my lunch that was the same as breakfast. At least I went to the shower afterwards. And still I'd like to stay in bed pretending I don't exist. I hate this holiday season so far. Really, nothing good happened. I miss my friends already and I miss my family and I hate my work, so... yeah, I don't see anything good around. I could, of course, go out to sit in the town centre, but then I'd have an urge to buy something and I should totally start saving up. Firstly, because I think I won't get to pay monthly for our second-year house, as I'm paying for my flat right now. I'm so jealous that everyone gets their student maintenance and then there is me, that has to make everything by herself. And they need one text to their parents to get money. Shame, I can't really text anyone. There goes my holiday mood, when everything is bothering me. I constantly think about the payments and money and all the issues that haunts me. It makes me sick as fuck. And I really hate everyone who says 'quit your job, you will find another one, just go back to Lithuania for Christmas'. You know what? I miss one day of the fucking job and I don't get enough money to pay for my rent. And they asked if it would be alright for me to work less hours. Really. REALLY? I would be even more broke if I quit. I know that four pounds per hour is fucking nothing when you live alone, but seriously, it is way better than nothing.
Anyway, I have no mood to write anything on the blog today. I don't know, I feel like I just exist right now, you know? Not living, existing. Where you do same stuff everyday, without anything interesting. That's me right now. As I said before "Sleep, eat, work, repeat". I don't want to 'live' like this. I need something interesting in my life. I do want to start kickboxing or boxing, but there is my money issue again. It costs fortune to get a membership and I barely manage to pay my rent. I hate this. I don't want to be an adult, please save me from this.
anyway, I have to go do my adult duty and get ready for work. I know my latest updates are really shitty, but nothing interesting is going on in my life. And it sucks.
Oh, and I can't stop thinking about one time I didn't get a hug. Fuck that.
Love you guys x
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