Why did I came here again?

Hello there, sweeties :)

So this day is going wrong in every possible way today. And I have no idea why. I just feel like I don't enjoy it at all. Yes, I am with my #squad, everything should be ok, but something is bothering me. And I have no idea what. Maybe the lectures/workshops. With every week I am here I feel like I shouldn't. Why, again, I took the Creative Writing course when it's absolutely true I can't write anything decent? And especially in poem form. Like, how the fuck am I supposed to do a good poem if I can't even rhythm in my mother tongue??? Fuck this hit, can I quit? And yeah, our lecturer doesn't do much help. She came to me today, read my "poem" and was like 'well, yeah, it is better than the first one but it could be much much better'. And then wrote smth in her unreadable handwriting and went on. Wow, thanks, much help. I am not the one who asks, sorry. I'm the one who listens and tries to understand on my own. I told her I struggle, I hate poems and she just smiled and told me something about choosing the wrong course. Yeah, I kind of see that now. Who the fuck enjoys poems in 21st century???? I write prose. I want to be able to write prose as good as I can and I don't fucking need the fucking poem to do that. And if she'll fail me for my incapability of writing fucking poems, I'm going to talk about it somewhere. Seriously, creative doesn't mean rhyming and shit. It means letting your imagination go wherever it wants. And mine doesn't go to the poems.
Happy thoughts!
I'm going away for this weekend! Omg I'm so glad I'll get to change my surroundings for a bit. Yeah, sure, I'll miss my #squad so much I'll probably end up crying every night, but well, I need to get out of this monotony. I never loved being in one place for too long. Or at least being there without changing anything. I should find something to change my room. I need to print pictures of my fam and friends and hang them everywhere I can. Well, not walls, apparently, unless I don't want to get my money back. God damn it. Maybe I should go and ask the reception if I am able to put this sticky thing. It worked back in Lith, but I'm not sure if it will here. Oh, I can't wait to do that! Although I need money for it, and I'm not sure I can spend any more than I have now. Or I'll be screwed by the time of Christmas. And if we're doing secret Santa in our group, I'll need to spend some money. Because I know how it goes - you are supposed to buy just one present and everyone ends up gifting something to everyone. And I need to send presents back to my family too. Especially my Brother, Sister and my Cousin. I can't disappoint them, right? Oh, I bet everyone there thinks I'm loaded with money now, that I have work. Lol, nope. I came here to study, not to work.
Anyway, I'm hoping I'll sort something out by the end of this month. I really need to be more careful with my money. And I should go back to my bank to see what is wrong with my term address.

Have a nice evening, guys! xxxx

 gif from "maggie-dee", thanks, that is literally how I felt leaving the workshop today ;/