Sorry I didn't post anything yesterday, I was quite busy doing... stuff. Like, stuffy stuff. I worked (of course), then I had to go out with my dear dear dear friend, because we were celebrating her birthday. Oh My it was so much fun I can't even believe I lived to the second day. I mean, yeah, I had a few drinks, it was alright, but I danced so much shit out of me. It actually feels really really good. I mean, I am way happier after yesterday. I've decided, that it's so much better not to have anyone by my side. Then you have no rules and all you care is what you let yourself to do. I bet it sounds weird. What I mean is I kind of understood that I do love to be single. I have friends and that is all I need at this moment. Going out while being in a relationship would set so many boundaries. Especially if my SO wouldn't go out with me. Like, I kind of noticed that I get a lot of attention in the club. Like, yesterday there was bunch of guys standing in the corner and eating me with their eyes. Fuck, that's Lithuanian expression. Don't mind it. It means they were looking at me like they would see someone naked for the first time or smth like that. Not that I was naked, of course. Talking about nakedness, I kind of hate my body. Again. Fuck it. It took me fucking three years to love it and it was because I lost a little weight and now... Again? Really? Ugh, I should start watching what I eat. Maybe get some vegetables, fruits and be on a salads diet for a little while. I would save so much money because of that. God, I can even see my second chin showing, I must got really fat in two months. That's it, from now on, no McDonald's. If my friends will go there, I'm not getting anything. If we are going out, I'm getting one drink and that is fucking it. I need to watch over myself more. And I need to save up, since I don't see myself getting another job any time soon.
Oh, yeah, talking about my job. Today was really nice. Actually my cheeks started to hurt because I was smiling so much. It was a good day, really. And then these 3 guys came, they were totally checking me out (oh, that's the phrase!). Bitches didn't leave any tips. I was so disappointed. Until I saw a piece of paper with a number on and the phrase "call me". God, so old fashioned. So, anyway, I have no idea which of them left their number, so I did texted. Not that I would go out with any of them (though I kind of have a feeling one of them was the guy I made out with while being at Liquid&envy on fresher's week :| ). So, yeah. I got scolded for eating really slowly too. And that was unexpected since the guy that scolded me is generally really nice and friendly. I kind of changed my opinion about him now. No one should tell no one to eat quicker. You know you can ruin your stomach by eating too quickly. So, yeah. That was really rude of him. But hey, why would anyone care what I think, right?
Anyway, we went out today again. Not clubbing, God save us, no. We went to the pub to hang out with our Birthday Girl (bitch day, - inside joke). It was quite fun, to be honest. Until, well, maybe one part. But meh, doesn't matter. As long as most of them loves me, I don't care about the others, right? Although it pisses me off that someone can't see me the way I am just because someone told them something. Well, you know what, fuck it. It's theirs choice and I won't let it affect my activities. Because, yes, my dears, I do hate hanging out with people when I know they don't want to see me. And since that social anxiety really gets to me, I am really careful with people. Like, if they look at me just once the wrong way, that's it. I'll think that it was totally my faut that they hate me and generally I will avoid them. Even if I do care about those people alot. That's how with my ex-best friend was. The one I had a fight with. Like, yeah, I was so mad I could literally stab her in her face, but deep down I still cared for her. I've been with her through her worse, through her best and I do care about it. And I know she did cared too. And because we were classmates and we still had about a month into our study time, we had to see each other and it was horrible. I didn't want to see her but at the same time I wanted to ask her if everything is alright. I saw that she wanted to do the same thing but the fact that we did fight kept us away. Anyway, the point is, it really hurts when you care about someone so deeply much and they don't want to talk with you. It kills me. And I am in very same situation right now, so guess how do I feel every time I think about this.
But hey! Happy thoughts, right?;3
So... yeah. Happy. Today was a really nice day. There was sunshine and nice customers, I hang out with my friends, I got nice cup of tea, everything is so perfect I couldn't ask for more, right?
Myliu jus, mano minionai x
And ^ this means that I love you, my minions. In Lithuanian. I really do love you. I have no idea who reads this but either way, knowing that I sort of talk out to someone makes me feel so much better. Thank you!
Gif from "codeinelord" - thanks for sharing!
I'd love to have so much money though ;/
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