I don't know what's wrong with me and don't you dare saying it's nothing.
ok, I know what it is.
Tomorrow will be the day when I lost my Dad. 14 years ago. And I hate the fact that I can't be there to visit Him. I hate it I hate it I hate it. And my birthday is coming up. Guess what, two days before that it's my Mums birthday. You feel me?
It's not like I haven't been through this, you know. It's the first time I'm not going to be near my family on these days. I'm scared. I'd never break in front of them because I'm the tough one in the family, but how am I supposed to go through it when I'm all alone? I can't. I can't I can't I can't. God, I'm panicing right now. I don't know what's wrong with me, why would I break like that, but here I am trying not to cry. Why the hell this always happens to me, hm? Why is it so hard just to be happy for once? I want to smile but here I am instead. I don't know. I need to occupie my minds with something tomorrow. And then on Mum's birthday. Though I will probably be sad on my birthday as well. You know why? Because me and Mum would always celebrate it together and look at me, being in other country for it. I hate this. all of this.
And I have to go, ttyl.
Please don't panic... :\
ReplyDeleteit's easier to say than do...
ReplyDeleteThat sounds really mean, just for the record. And I do try to get a grip of my life, though I'm sorry you chose to read my blog then. I'm a pretty sad person, if you want anything happy, try someone else :)
ReplyDeletesorry, that's mean. Thank you for your support, I'm sorry I made you sad, I hope you will feel better soon x
Gosh. As Kristen Stewart said, it's okay not to be okay. Everyone has their ups and downs and it's especially hard when you have nobody to share your feelings with. It takes time to learn to deal with all of this.
ReplyDeletethat's one of the reasons why I have my blog. It's kind of how I share my feelings with someone even though I have no idea who reads this. Trust me, after I put everything down on my blog, I feel much better :)
DeleteYou do have some idea who reads it... ;P
DeleteWell, I suppose I said it in a bad manner, either way my goal was not to offend or hurt you. This is your personal blog and you have every right to express your feelings, you have every right to grief or be sad about your parents, and I respect this right of yours, don't get me wrong, I just made a mere notice. It is ok to break down every once in a while but being weak like this will NOT get you far in life, good luck.
ReplyDeleteWeak? Me? If I'd be weak I would not be writing this blog, I would be with my Parents.
ReplyDelete