It's finally Friday! Not that I'm excited for anything or something. I'm not even excited for a day without workshops or lessons, because I have a meeting with my workshop group for presentation. Honestly, I have no idea what am I doing. I mean, I know what I have to do, but it seems I can't really concentrate on my task. It's not even the hard one, but still. You know the feeling where you have to spend at least <...> amount of time procrastinating before you actually do the job? I'm starting to think that I'm gonna do this the last day and then stress out when I won't be able to talk in front of my classmates. I was never good at talking and I doubt I'll ever be.
But that's probably not what I should talk about. I posted this phrase yesterday that makes me giggle today. I mean, it's honest and stuff, but let me give you even more honesty. I'm starting to realise that I'll probably stay virgin for my life. Why, you ask? Because whenever I start to think about it, I hate the idea of someone seeing me naked. And I've seen enough adult movies to realise that I might make strange sounds. And everyone who knows me knows that I'm too conscious to express myself ( I hope I phrased it right). I mean, talking about everything is not a taboo for me, go ahead, I'm all for the talking. But honestly, if it ever comes to it, I'll probably end up saying 'sorry' and I'll hide somewhere under my bed for the rest of my life avoiding any contact.
Talking about contact and avoiding someone. So there is this really sweet guy in my classes. I mean, I think he's really sweet and stuff, but I've talked with him for like 5 times the most. And now all suddenly he got me a birthday present. And started messaging me that I am amazing. Let me be clear, it's wonderful and stuff, but it totally scares me. I am way too masochistic to think that I deserve someone who would treat me like a princess. But that's not the case. I noticed that whenever I see the signs that someone might like me, I try to stay as far away as possible. I always make up excuses for seeing them or talking to them until they give up. I don't know why I do it, maybe it's too much out of my comfort zone. I mean, I'm brave enough to step out of it as long as my 'zone' is still near me, but this, I suppose, is too much for me. So, yeah, I am almost absolutely sure that I'll find as many excuses as it will take to not go to my classes where I might see him. Though when I talked about this with my girlfriends (I have two girls that are my friends and obviously I'm talking about guys with them. I;m not talking about my boy problems with my mates) I got a response that they would do anything to help me avoid this awkward encounter (they ship me with someone else either way). Anywayyy, I feel really sorry about it, because he seems really nice and I'm being a total bitch about it.
And my kind-of-summer-crush started texting me again. Scary. Why is it always no one or everyone at the same time situation? Urghhhh! I have my Brad-the-cuddling-pillow. I don't need anyone else :|
Happy thought of the day - I went to the shower and shaved my legs. They are smooth as fuck and I love it ^-^
love you x
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