I know I've been away again. Like, again again. I'm sorry I'm doing this, it's just... well, I don't know. Nothing happened for the past I have no idea how many days. Like, literally, my days goes like this: I wake up, I go back to sleep. Then I properly wake up, make myself a cup of coffee, have something to eat, then all day I spend watching movies or tv-shows. Seriously, like, I eat and sleep. That's all I do. It reminds me of the days when I had no friends and I was nothing more than a depressed teenager. I totally desperately need a job.
Actually, since I have nothing to talk about, let's talk about my past. Though I don't know what exactly I want to tell you. I don't even know what I want to talk about. I'm so lost. Well, I can start by telling you about my dream. That was tonight. Yeah, look at me, telling you about my past. Well, the point is, I've been dreaming about car crashes all night. Like the proper ones, where I get hit or I hit someone and there is blood everywhere and.. ugh, I don't know. It wasn't pretty and I wanted to wake up but at the same time I didn't because I wanted to help to anyone who would be in danger. I don't know, it was pretty damn scary.
Anyway, I remembered what I wanted to tell you guys. So, um, remember when I told you that i've been dreaming about my Parents for like three days in a row? Well, now I have these strange thoughts, like totally random ones, that I should call them. And then it's like 'oh. wait. I can't call them' and then my mood is ruined. I don't know what's wrong with me, like, I've never did that. I've never wanted to call them after, you know. And now I get these random thoughts and it's really not the best feeling to realise that I can't. Every time. Like, I watch a really good episode of the show and then it's 'Oh, I should defo tell about it to Mum' and then BAM. I CAN'T. It sucks, guys. It really does. Though I'm pretty sure I'm still dreaming about my Parents though I can't remember it. I have that feeling. And you know what, I was talking with my aunts the other day about me being sick and one of them said she prayed to them to not take me. And the other one prayed to them to help me. Well, the point is, they asked for the same thing, basically, right? Anyway, yeah, that's how bad I was. But the point I'm trying to make is that I think about my Parents alot. Like, a proper lot, I can't remember when I thought about them this much. Can it mean something? I'm a believer, I believe in this stuff. Though I doubt it means anything good, so.... you know. I don't know what to think anymore.
Though I know I should finish this. I don't like writing about this while I'm in the library. Just... we'll talk later, ok?
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