I'm not used to people being nice to me. I'm not used to have friends, who could do even the tiniest thing for me. I'm not used to all of this. It feels great, knowing that I kind of have this now. But it also makes me miserable. I feel bad for being... whats the word... depended on someone. And I also feel bad for feeling bad. I hate the situation I am in. How the hell did I get here? What's wrong with me? I feel like a burden to anyone, who hangs out with me. I'm not used to have friends. Yes, I did have them, but you know what? I felt like an acquaintance in the groups I hang out back in Lithuania. That's why it may seem that I'm a weirdo sometimes. Everything is so new to me. I don't know if you ever experienced that. That mix of happiness and saddness at the same time. I feel freaking great being with my #squad everytime we go out, but I feel really fucked up when we go out somewhere public. Public always means spending money. I hate this. I hate knowing, that I have no money to spend. I hate that I spent everything I had on something, that I can't even remember. How the hell did I spent all of my inheritance in two years? TWO FREAKING YEARS. I felt so rich. Where did all of that money went? Yes, I bought a driving lessons for myself and for my aunt, I brought a car, I... what else did I do? Yeeees, I bought loads of clothes for myself. I spend a fortune on gasoline for my car. What else? How the fuck one spends nearly 10 000 euros in two fucking years? I think I just got addicted to the idea that I can buy whatever the fuck I want.
Anyways, let's not count the money that is gone. Leeet's talk about yesterday! Oh my God it was awesome! Although I think that beer from lithuania is still the best beer ever. Even if I don't normally drink beer. I get all blushy and stuff if I try it out. And if I mix it with even tiny bit of vodka, well, there you have me - bitchy, dirty-minded, rude idiot, who doesn't remember what it's like to be shy. Oh, and if you add a shisha with all of this, well... Let's just say, my mind got pretty occupied with not-so-fancy stuff. But I'm not telling you about it, or I'll ruin my image. I need to have my fancy, posh style going on. Even if I'm so not like that in my mind. Ugh, if I could jus speak fluently in English... Probably everyone would hate me by now. Thank God I don't speak English that well. Oh, and that horror movie we "saw? C'mon, I didn't understand a thing. Ofcourse it wasn't that scary, when you see just an intro and the ending. Spoiler alert, thank you. Anyways, I hate horror movies. Let's watch a very Potter musical, shall we?
Oh, yeah, the name of this post came up because I kind of appologised for blocking a way out for a random girl, and when I moved to the side, so she could pass me, she screamed "You should say thank you for not hitting you, you fuckin' bitch". Well, that's mature enough, isn't it? If I wasn't it that kind of mood, where I couldn't care less about other people opinions, I would have fucking punched her in her filthy mouth. Don't curse at strangers, u never know where did they came from. And trust me, if I want to, I can hit hard. Even if I might seem a little too sweet for the fighting.
Anyways, love you guys!
We're defo watching A Very Potter Musical the next time we meet!!!!!!!
ReplyDeletewell duuuh, who can resist it?
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