I heard that millions of times and I do know that I am pretty. But that's my problem. I know it and that's why I have high standards for myself. I woke up this morning and every little hair on my body annoyed me. When I was putting the make up on, I stopped for a few times to fix my eyebrows. And you know I don't draw them. I plucked nearly invincible hair because it was annoying me. Everything about me annoys me. I hear a word 'pretty' and I want to be perfect. Am I perfect? Hell no. Maybe that's why I don't have a lot of confidence. Maybe that's why I imagine always staying like I am, because I don't want to show my imperfections to anyone else. I was looking at my chest this morning and it annoyed me as well. I mean, it's no secret that every girl has those barely visible hair on them, but I was looking at them and it made me mad.
I don't know why it is so important for me to be perfect all the time. As I said, every time someone says I'm pretty, the list of my imperfections goes through my head. Ever since I was little, I had standards for myself. I can't remember when I've started shaving my legs - it was that long time ago. I know I'm always complexed about everything.
But you know what? I know it's alright. No one is perfect. It's only me who sees me naked, it's only me who sees all the imperfections and it's only me who knows about them. Maybe that's the reason I don't really want a boyfriend - I'd be scared for him to comment on anything. My auntie likes to mock me about my back hair and that's why I'd always wear longer clothes so no one would see them. Whenever I hear a girl saying 'oh no, I have moustache' I have a reflex to hide lower part of my face because of my own hair on the face. I know you could say I can remove them easily, but you know what? I don't have neither time or money to invest in it. Yeah, I bought the wax strips for the face but I can't be bothered to actually do it. Plus, It would hurt and I don't need that at the moment.
Anyway, I'm gonna go to work where I need to have all of my confidence. Even if I feel like shit today. God it's a nice day, isn't it?
see you later guys x
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