Ok, seriously.

Hi guys!
I hope you didn't drink as much as me yesterday. Oh my I did a mistake. Well, drinking was fine, but when I smoked two cigarettes, that was a fucking mistake. I spent around an hour vomiting and I cried my eyes out. I mean, I cried so much I my capillaries around my eyes popped. So now I look like I have freckles, just the ugly ones because they are blue-ish.
Why I cried? Well, that's the point, I never ever wanted to talk about it out loud, but when I started spitting something red, I lost it. You see, my family has a history with cancer. My Grandad died from it. My Grandma has it. We're pretty sure that my ancestors had it as well, because they died quite young. And to be honest, first thing that I thought when I saw something red is that I have it as well. I regularly check myself if I don't have any lumps around my chest and on Saturday I think I felt something on my right one. I got scared, but then again, I am too afraid to actually go and check it out, because I'm too afraid to hear that I might have anything.
And yesterday, while crying, I finally said it out loud. Like, my Godmother and her sister heard it and today they brought it up. They said they could be with me during a check-up but then again, if I have something, I don't want anyone to know anything, ok? I will not have my family worrying about me.

Ok, ok, ok, let's not talk about it anymore. I hate this topic. It's too personal.

Have a nice day ;3