I've been to my aunties ^-^ We didn't spend much time together, but I got some time for myself while I was babysitting my cousin and it really helped to deal with my mood swings. For now, anyway.
I'm not even sure why I opened my blog page. Probably because I wanted to see if many people read what I wrote two days ago. On one side, I love when people around me knows how I feel and gives me space if I require it, but on the other side, it kind of annoys me because then I don't feel like talking about out loud and I'm pretty sure that's a problem.
Oh, right, I remembered what I want to talk about. You know how I have a huge problem of being a narcissist and I care talking about myself? Yeah, I haven't done that in a long time. Whenever I try to talk about me, I have a feeling that no one cares and it drives me crazy. And I'm not saying that someone should just sit down and listen me talking about me, but it would be nice to get some attention back after I give it to someone.
Like yesterday at work. One of the guys was there and he asked if I could give him a free drink. I mean, it's not like we had expensive stuff anyway, so I did. He said thanks and then disappeared. Funny thing? After that I kind of remembered I haven't talked with guys in a long time. Well, he sent me a link to a tattoo artist, but that was about it. Is that a friendship or is that me being used?
I got used of being used, don't get me wrong. I would usually be fine to do something to people just to imagine they are my friends, but when it's too obvious it annoys me, ok? Last two times I hung out with guys just because I got them something they wanted. That was about it. I miss hanging out with them on like a movie night or games night or something. I think about this too much, sorry. I just really miss them.
Oh, and another thing. My name is Judita. And you pronounce it as You-dy-ta. It's really not that hard, many people I've met actually can say it. And then again, people whom I've met months, years ago still calls me by my 'English' names. I had Judy, Judith, Judita (yes, as J), my boss even calls me Jujita, which sounds just ridiculous. Is it really that hard to pronounce my names? Especially for my friends. Guys calls me by my real name. One of my housemates calls me by my real name, and then then other one calls me Judy. And tells everyone to call me that. I was told she even asked the other housemate why she's calling me Judita when everyone calls me Judy. No, not everyone calls me Judy. Just the people she told. Yes, I prefer my real name. Yes, I appreciate everytime someone pronounces it. And it would be nice that people who knew me for more than a year could finally learn to pronounce it.
That's it. I got moody in the morning. Very helpful.
but I still love you x
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