Hello there, by the way ;3
so, yeah, I got paid a bit extra and went to my aunties to get my package from my other auntie (I have loads of aunts, I know). I have to say, it was surprisingly nice to wake up early and catch the train. And then wake up early again and catch another train. I forgot how nice it is. I should travel more (my bank account laughs from this statement). Anyway, I finally got clothes I so desperately wanted for so long and I can't be more happy about it. Especially about my night robe that looks like yukata. I literally wanna live in it.
But yeah, now I have like 3 or 4 more outfits for a casual dates so please, have that in mind or I'm gonna use them just for walks to town, which will be just sad because they'll be perfect ;3
Anyway, I had pretty great day. I went there and I spend my day outside, trying to tan a bit (no chance, UK weather doesn't like me), I played with my cousin who honestly looked scared of me and then I ate lithuanian food (bless my aunties Mum, who got lithuanian stuff from our country when she came over). It was so good I wanted to eat everything, but didn't want to look rude, so, obviously, I just ate the biggest normal portion I got. (for my lithuanian readers, it was 'Balandėliai'. So freaking good <3 )
I texted my Godfather that I'm in town (it's such a village compared to Leicester) but apparently he wasn't really in the mood to meet up with me. Which is quite sad, because I did tell you I haven't seen him in ages now. But hey, if he doesn't want to, I'm fine with it. Less relatives to congratulate on their birthdays and stuff.
I've been there for less than 24 hours and it was enough to see why I didn't want relationship in the first place. My auntie and her husband were fighting about literally everything. So awkward. I'm obviously really good at ignoring the awkwardness, but still. It wasn't really nice to see them like that. They look so lovely together, but after yesterday it seems like it's just for the outside eyes or whatever it's called. I wish they could live happily, they suit together ;/
Talking about relationship, my heart and mind is so lost right now I don't even know what to think. Can I just focus on loving myself and if someone wants me to love them they can just let me know? Because I'm literally so bored of 'oh my Goood he's sooooo cute, I like him so much' and then the next day it's like 'you know what, he's a total jerk, I hate him'. I don't understand if someone likes me until they literally tell me so. So have in mind, if you wanna go on a date with me, you're gonna have to somehow tell me. Because I might seem really confident, but I totally can't ask anyone out. And there is someone I'd love to ask out, but there I am, complaining about how no one likes me.
I wanna kiss someone. I miss the feeling of being kissed by someone. Even if it's at the stupid club by a drunk boy whom I will never see again. I miss being held by someone in their hands, it's so calming and nice. I need this. I feel lonely.
Ok, shit, stop, I'm getting really personal here. I mean, I have Brad, what else can I need, right?
By the way, I just figured out that if someone just started to read my blog, they probably have no idea who Brad is. Brad is my cuddling-pillow which I got as a Christmas present. God, if someone just started reading my blog, I must sound like a slut. Sorry :|
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