Yeah, I know. I haven't been on my blog for ages now. To be fair, I don't have anything interesting to tell you. Well, maybe, except for the part that I quit my job yesterday. Not that I became a millionaire or anything, no. I'm still crying poor, but at least I don't do something that kills me inside. I mean, saving children is a good thing, but we all know how bad me and monotony is. I can do the same thing for a month, for two, maybe, but then it starts to kill me. And not even slowly, it kills me fast. Last week at work was absolutely terrible. I didn't want to smile, I didn't want to talk, I didn't want to do anything. Just repeating and repeating the same thing, listening to the same answers day after day... I can't do that.
I met wonderful people while working there. I mean, at least I thought so. I'm not trashing or anything, they are nice, when they want to be. It's just I'm too naive to be around someone who knows how to lure people into something. I don't want to become someone who would use other people to get what I want.
Anyway, let's not talk about it anymore. That's my past. Now fingers crossed a few places I applied to replies.
Oh, it was so funny yesterday! It made me chuckle for the rest of the day. I woke up from a nap and went to the kitchen where one of my flatmates was washing her dishes. And her face got so confused when she saw me and she started mumbling 'Sorry, I couldn't reach that' or something like that and then I noticed she was using my sponge (because it has a handle on it, I'm so inlove with it). Oh my it made me giggle so much. Obviously I told her not to worry about it, it's not like she stole my food or something (I'm too poor to share food, you know). But her face... oh my God you guys should have seen it. So adorable ;3
But yeah, mostly I spent my day playing games yesterday. Same today. Well, today I'm going out with another flatmate and I'm really looking forward to it. I haven't hung out with her in ages. Oh, well, except the day before yesterday when I got too drunk and can barely remember what happened, but that's a story I'm gonna keep for myself. All you need to know is that it was a fun day with a lot of tanning and drinking. That's it. Let's get back to today's evening. I have no idea what to wear. I kind of want to stand out but then again, it's not like me to do it. Dress/skirt/shorts? It will obviously depend on the weather, but I like to plan for it. At least I know what I'm going to do for my make-up. God I finally got a hang of it, I'm so proud of myself.
I thought about going to my aunts again, this time for a bit longer time, but I really can't afford buying myself tickets atm. She can't afford them as well because she's going back to Lithuania in a few days. I thought about asking my cousin to buy me tickets, but couldn't go around doing it. I hate, absolutely hate, asking ppl for money. I should be able to save up for myself.
I wish I could go back to Lithuania for a week or so. Not because I need to run away from everything here (that would be good as well) but because I don't talk with my family anymore. Like, whenever I try to call, they're busy, whenever they called me, I was busy or already asleep. My sister told me she misses me so much. My brother keeps talking that when I'm going to come back, we're going to swim across the river in our hometown. Whenever they talk about me getting back and how much they actually missed me it makes me want to cry my eyes out. I miss them so much it hurts even to think about it. My aunt somehow decided that I'm going to come back in August, so now everyone expects me to get back then. I would, I really would, but I just recieved an email saying there is another payment in August for my new house in which I won't even live by then. Yeah, if I could afford travelling, I'd be packing my bags right now. All of my friends are gone from Leicester now, so I can't even go to the guys or ask them to come over or annoy my girls with my 'let's get out' texts. Well, I can, it's just I know they're not here.
OMG OMG OMG IT'S A THUNDER! it's like the first time I saw it in England. Aw, so excited! It sounded so terrible ;ooo but I like it. Somehow, this weather calms me down. That pouring rain and the lightning... Sometimes I get scared of it. Sometimes I could spend hours looking through the window to it.
Honestly, sometimes I'm afraid of everything and sometimes I'm the bravest person I know. Take dogs, for example. I mean, everyone knows how much I don't like dogs. Like, literally, I can't move whenever I see them coming over, but then again, my Godmother had a dog and I somehow manage to be calm around it. Sometimes I'm afraid of the dark as well. And sometimes I make my room as dark as possible because I feel safer that way.
The most terrible fear that I have is being alone. I'm so afraid of being left alone, but then again, there are moments when I just don't want to see anyone. I even had times when I asked people to leave because I had to be alone. It's not just recent, I had that from when I was little. I remember asking my friends to leave and then we got into a word fight of why I'm so rude. I'm not rude, I'm sorry. It's just I need my alone time sometimes. I'm strange, I know.
Ok, that was deep, stop it. I've bought a new cup a few days ago. It says 'I'm the boss around here'. It's soooo cool guys! And coffee is tasty when I drink from it. I mean, I don't have a cup that makes it especially not tasty, but we all have our favourite cups for drinks, right? Like, my 'Keep calm and carry on' is perfect for tea. The one with the dog is always for the guests or to warm milk up. I have a glassy one which is perfect to drink alcohol from (since it's with a straw). Then I have my blue one which is perfect when I want to drink juice. See? I have a cup for everything.
Guys, I was wondering if you know more bands similar to Patd, Fob, arctic monkeys...? I love their songs so much but listening them daily on repeat makes me a little bit annoyed. Please comment anywhere if you know any other band, ok? ;3
I'm gonna go now, I need to have some shower time for myself (I have my hair mask on my hair all day, so I've become quite greasy).
Love you guys so much x
I promise to try to be more regulary active xx
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