I did really really wanted to surprise my friend by making her a cake (or pie, I don't see the difference) but I totally failed at m wish since I don't have much time left. I knew, I knew I should've went to the tesco after work to buy everything and make it first thing in the morning. And look at me now, sitting in my pyjamas at 3 pm. I have work in two hours so no way I'd be able to run to the store, get back and make everything. And I'll stay at my work until 11, so there will be no time to make one as she wants to go clubbing tonight. Hard student life, that's how I can describe it. I'd buy one from the store next to my work, but I hate spending a lot of money (knowing I need to go back to Lith on Christmas). Anyway, if anyone is up to help me with this, please, let me know asap, so I could tell every detail I've planned.
By the way, you Guys!... Ok, I forgot what I wanted to tell you. Oh well, I guess it wasn't that important then. It happens, right? Oh, yeah, right. So the #squad went out yesterday. From the messages I've seen in our chat I'm guessing it was really fun. Well, good for them. I actually am not even regretting I didn't go. And it's not sarcasm. I'd probably have ruined most of their fun. That's the person I am. But hey, does it matter... so yeah, what I did was watch "New girl" until 3 am in the morning. I still managed to wake up quarter to 1 am, so there is that. I love sleeping, I could do it with my eyes closed. Ha, good one. I've read it somewhere and I just remembered it and wanted to put it here. Anyway, guys, what are you planning to do this weekend?
Noe, on the more sad tune. I don't want to be the one that is pitied (that is the word pity but I have no idea if it exist as I wrote it down) but I do feel like I'm not it the #squad anymore. I mean, everyone around me looks like they have some secret or something and I'm the only one that doesn't know anything. And I know that some #squad members gets along more than others. And I'm the one that has no idea how to get along with any of them. I mean, we had such a good start, what happened? Is it me that ruins everything? Should I leave the #squad to make them more happy? Because I love them so much I could do it in the name of their happiness. Yeah, I am that dramatic. I do miss those evenings when someone would come to drink tea with me. I do miss our shopping trips to Primark where we could do stuff and laugh about it. I miss what we did apart going clubbing or drinking. There is so much more to do than that. Or are we just friends that hang out while drunk? Because I don't know if that counts as a friend. I need a friend that I could talk about everything. At least one of them. And even if I thought I found even two, now I don't, really. And I don't know if it's something I did or just... well, yeah, why would they change their behaviour towards me if I didn't do anything? Ugh, I'm always the one that screw things. I should stay in bed and pretend that I don't exist. That would be the best for all of us.
Anyway, happy thoughts!
No friends means no money spending, meaning more saving towards my journey to Lith!
Wow, that didn't sound so optimistic. I'd love to have friends.
Love you guys x
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