I'm doing really well you guys. Like, I keep giggling and smiling at my phone and the reason is obvious and I keep secretly waiting for myself to fuck this up. I mean, we all know me, I always do.
But even so, I'm still not sure I want to talk to you about it. I actually wanted to tell you guys about something entirely different.
My best friend. I love that girl so very much, I could probably literally kill for her, but I don't think she realises I wish her all the best. I know she told me she's happy with her I'm-not-sure-how-to-call-him, but I just... don't believe it? Because I remember her saying she doesnt think anyone else will turn up and it really fucked me up. Like, she is pretty, she is smart, she was my idol while I was growing up and I was aspiring to be as cool as she was. And then she settled for someone who treats her badly. They havent been on a proper date (unless you count going to a club with other friends as date), he's been making excuses everytime she asked him to meet up anywhere apart his flat. They broke up a couple of months ago and, you guys, this fucked me up more than you can imagine, I actually cried about it, she got back with him without realising that he used her. I don't wanna go into too much detail, its not my life, but that's how I see this relationship. It's sick, its abusive and I hate the person that he is. I havent met him in real life, I had a chance, but instead of saying hi I would have greeted him with a big lithuanian punch to the face. My best friend is mad because I dont respect him (as she said, I should have some respect to someone whom I havent even met) but how can you respect someone when you know that they are hurting a person you love so much? I'm not sure she understands it.
I'm not even sure she will like this if she reads it. But I have to talk to someone about it and she's the only person I can talk about things like that. I tried explaining her how much she means to me, but I don't think she understands properly. I really hope that she will, eventually.
I told her a while back that if she doesnt want me insulting him, she should tell me about him, because I'm not interested in him. And yesterday she stated that I dont let her talk about him. I do, she can message me exciting messages saying 'omg he did this or messaged me that' and I'll be happy that she's happy. I just wont be happy of the reason she's happy. He will, and I repeat, will always stand in my eyes as someone who made my baby cry. And I will not forgive someone as easily as she can.
Gotta go now, talk to you later xx
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