I just glimpsed at the title of my last post and a quick update - I joined the gym alone, I'm loving it so far and I'm really proud of myself. Ate pizza yesterday, but baby steps, you know?
I came to my blog today to talk about Spring and boys. I don't know if they say this in UK, but in Lithuania, we say that when the Spring comes, boys get super horny (cant remember the original saying, but the concept is the same). And booooooyyy it's true. In the past three days I got three different guys asking me out. Like, seriously, I went on this date on Sunday, cute guy, a bit older than me which was fine because he looked really young, we had breakfast, went to a park, made out a little bit and then he walked me home. The funny thing was, he caught my attention by calling me cute instead of hot or beautiful while I was working. That's why I gave him my number in the first place. and you know what? After that date he never called or messaged me. I even sent a text thinking maybe he thinks I care about that age difference, but he didn't even reply. So ok, that's being crossed out of my list of potential lover.
Now another one has started messaging me weeks ago, but he's from my course and he was just hella friendly like friend type friend. So I was pretty excited to actually like go out for drinks with people and stuff when he started giving hints that's its just two of us and stuff. And this week I can FEEL him flirting. Oh, lets chill, lets go to the movies and shit. Like, no, you're my friend material, dont fuck it up. I even said it to him, like, you do realise we're friends, right? But show me a guy who would reply to that 'nah, I wanna fuck you'. They all say 'yeah yeah that's fine' probably thinking - bitch I'm gonna make you want me or smth. See, with me, it doesnt work that way. I can want a guy and still say no or stop him whenever I want (looking at my friend who cant tho). Maybe I do feel a bit guilty for getting their expectations too high, but hey, I don't mind telling them beforehand that I do not sleep around. And I feel that it is really important for girls to know that it is fine to say NO to a guy, because I know there are issues with that.
Like with this other guy that asked me out. I have met him, he's also on my course, I did hear he was a major fuckboy, and still somehow I ended up saying yes for a chilling session at his. Ok, so what I did after I said yes to it, I messaged him saying that I'm hoping he's cool with not sleeping with me because that will defo not gonna happen. He said cool, whatever is comfortable with you (again, show me a guy who'd say 'nah, we gonna fuck anyway') and from here, I won't need to feel bad if I walk there, we chill, make our or smth and then I go home leaving him... what's the expression? blue balls? damn sounds funny. Anyway, I did warn him, he still asked me over, so why not, right? It's spring for boys, it's spring for girls and honestly, being a virgin 20 year old is getting kind of annoying.
Ah, wait, I forgot another guy I'm talking to. The one with a girlfriend 'on a break'. Apparently, they got back together after a few days of that break and they're still in that complicated and, in my opinion, toxic relationship. And no, I'm not saying that because I want them to break up so I could have him or smth. Gosh, read above, I have plenty of thirsty boys around me, no. He's a dear friend of mine and I wish him the best. Obvs, he deserves those years with her for hurting me ages ago, but I forgave, its cool now. Anyway, yeah, I have decided to keep this relationship platonic. I really like him as my friend, you know?
What else? Let's see... In less than a month I'm going to be back in Lithuania, going to have the best summer in my life and it is going to be amazing. Although it was snowing today back there so I might not even get a chance to go to the beach and just enjoy my warm, missed sun of Lithuania's. Until then, I need to work work work work work and not spend anything I have for now. My first payment for rent is like 960 quid, therefore, I am, as always, in a shortage of money. Just somehow I'm not nervous about it. I should be, right?
Anyway. all I wanted to say is GIRLS, it's fine to say NO if you dont want something to happen. I'm a pretty chill person when it comes to making out, you know, but anything further for me is a big no no if I dont know that person well enough. I'm pretty sure it's just a rule for my first time, but still, babes, anything you don't want to happen, make sure it does not.
Love you all x
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