I hope you guys are doing well. Me? Yeah, so so. I got my pipe problem fixed this morning, so that was refreshing ;3 also, I got help from one of my guys to get my hot water running. I do feel quite sick with flu, but don't worry, I still cleaned up the kitchen (we have so many pots and pans) and made sure our garden doesn't look so bad. It was quite a nice day, actually. I enjoyed working around my house and after that, I rewarded myself for an hour in the sun. Nothing can be better ^-^
Tho to be fair, I did feel guilty today. Why? Because my ex-flatmate, you know, the one who helped me move, texted me asking to come over to help her. I texted her I can be there in an hour, because I just hung my wet clothes and I don't wanna leave them unattended, because I saw some clouds coming up and it looked like it was going to rain. My guess she wasn't very happy that I couldn't help her at that very time, but to be fair, she could have told me the day before about her plans to move her stuff. I wouldn't have washed my clothes and would have been ready whenever she needed me. Like, even on my moving day I didn't tell her a specific time when to be ready. I told her to help me out when she had her sleep and she's ready. Am I right or wrong here?
Anyway, that's not really why I opened my blog today. That was more or less just a sum up of my day. What I was thinking about were crushes. Like, yeah, I do think about them a lot, what can I say. I see posts about love every day, so naturally I start to wonder when will I be in love. But that's not about this as well. What I was thinking recently was that everyone thinks of a way to talk with their crush and somehow get their attention, but for me, I don't feel like texting any of my crushes. Like, whenever I open a chat to start a conversation, I feel like I'm annoying them. With friends it's fine, like, I can double text then, quadruple text them and so on, but with my crush (let's take the 'ultimate' one as an example), I literally was struggling to ask for help that I obviously needed today. Until someone told me to text him because he obviously knows how to help out. But I don't count that as a conversation tho, cuz that was literally just help, right? Anyway. Yeah, getting back to the point. I avoid texting my crush. I avoid making any contact with him, because I'm scared I'm annoying. Or maybe I'm just scared that I'm not interesting enough. Or I just know that he hates useless conversations. But to be fair, I always hated texting my crushes. I would always expect them to talk to me. That way I don't feel like I could annoy them. Don't get me wrong, I do text guys I like, but I usually have a reason for it, not just to ask what they're up to. Is it strange? Because I see a lot of posts about 'Oh, I don't know what to text him' or 'oh, I'm a brave woman and I texted him first' and stuff like that, but seriously, if I think of texting them, it's usually when I need something from them. Am I a bad friend if I act like that? I mean, it's usually me who texts first to all of my friends, but some of them don't mind (I hope) that I do. Sometimes it's literally just 'wuu2?' 'how are you?' and 'oh, cool, ttyl'. And honestly, these are enough for me to know that someone actually thinks about me from time to time and cares about me. It's important, you know? Especially to a person like me. I might look confident on the outside, but babe, I'm so insecure about all of my friends after what happened with my ex-best friend, that I can barely keep anyone around me longer than two or three meets.
But yeah. My point here was - I hate texting person I like first. Not because I couldn't think of what to say, but because I would feel like being annoying. But by all means, if you want to text me, please, do. That would mean a lot even if it's just to ask how am I.
Oh, by the way, I think I'm no longer a waitress, since I didn't get a call in two days. At least I'm still a bartender ;3 I was told I might become like a managing-bartender when the temporary one leaves. Ha, lol, me, responsible? Good joke, right?
Anyway, I love you guys so very much! I have no idea what I would do without my blog and those numbers that keep a track of refreshed blog page. They mean so much to me, I can't even describe it <3
I'm really grateful to 'pensiveprufrock' for this gif ;3
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