or not. I wanted to say that, don't judge me. I'm a strange person. Look at me, one minute I wanna go for a jog, next minute I wouldn't get up from my bed even if there was a fire nearby. Yes, I am a strange person. I woke up today with a thought that I should do my assignment, do all of my homework and start new novel. So far I had breakfast and shower. And watched two episodes of 'Community'. Oh, yeah, I have started reading the material for the assignment, but it was so boring I switched to scrolling on my facebook wall. Fun times. I am sooo addicted to my phone, you can't even imagine. If I don't check my snapchat or facebook for 5 minutes, I feel like I'm failing in life. Even if nothing new happens, I still check it. Maybe I'm desperate for attention. I love attention, I am not even denying it. Maybe that's why I want a boyfriend. So he could say that I am a wonderful being. Hm... maybe it's for the best that I don't have one. I don't want to use people for my benefit. I'm not selfish.
Apparently, today is Mother's day in Britain. Everyone is congratulating their Moms and every time I scroll past that kind of post, I feel like I want to kill them. Well, not really, but it makes my little heart ache every time. I don't like posting that kind of things online. Yes, I did congratulated my Mum on my Blog, but that was personal and people choose to read it. It's different on Facebook. It just pops on the wall and I can't do anything about it. I mean, I love my Mom so much and I would love to say that to the whole world, hell, universe, but what's the point? She knew I loved her dearly. And I don't need anyones pity if I'd post something about my Mum online.
Great, now my mp3 is playing 'Welcome to the black padare'. That irony.
What was I about? Ah, yeah. I won't post a picture of my Mum or write a paragraph how Perfect She was. No. I know that She was and is prefect. She is praised even without public attention and I believe She understands my position. I don't want anyones pity. It would just make me sad, as always. And I'm not in a mood to be sad.
Talking about sadness, I actually haven't seen my guy friends in almost a week now. And honestly? With every day I miss them less and less. And my sex dreams disappeared (finally). Maybe it was Friday night that helped, but hey, it's much easier not to text them asking if they'd like to hang out with me. They don't need me, I don't need them. After all, I need to focus on my studies and finding a job. Or else I'm a bit screwed. I was really hoping to get a job at the cafeteria on campus centre, but they didn't call, so I assume they found someone better. Yeah, I'd be better where I wouldn't need to talk much. If anyone knows any part-time jobs in Leicester, give me a call, I'll be glad to consider. I'd go on a job hunt today, but it's Sunday, so most of the places will be closed by the time I'll get ready. Maybe I'll go tomorrow. I won't be doing anything anyway.
Oh, another reason not to text my boys - they have an exam tomorrow. See? We all need to concentrate on our studies.
Wow, and I thought I have nothing to talk about today. Well, my mistake. I would be so happy if I could write my assignment the same way I write my blog - just tell what I think at that moment. God that would be so easy...
anyway, I'm gonna stop here, since our creating writing lecturer said our blog post should be short (hahahahahahahahahahahahah, no, I have a lot to say, sorry)
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