Making some changes

Hey guys!

This is going to be short, I don't have much time. I just really want to tell this.
As you all know (or not) yesterday was my Birthday. Something about birthdays always fascinated me. I love my birthdays. Maybe because I know that it's one day when everything is about me and I can feel myself. That means that I will not take shit from anyone. Pretty simple to figure it out, really.
And you know, I love having my birthday party. It's time when all of my friends should make an effort to show me how much they truly care about me. Knowing my insecurities, that is like, super important for me. So you can imagine how much I was hurt when I got a text message from one of these so called friends saying she's not coming to my party. We obviously had an argument and she said to message her when I realize that I'm being silly. For you know what? For saying that it is super important for me. And ah, sweet irony, after that she unfriended me on facebook. Now tell me is that not silly?
But yeah, that was the first thing that triggered me on my day, but I was so determined to have a good time, I let it slip and just pushed it out of my mind.
The evening was pretty cool. I was planning to start my party around 8, so obvs I played music and ordered pizzas for around that time. Apparently, my lithuanian friends had other plans, because they showed up after ten or so. I mean, my housemates and few more friends were already there and I did not see the point of waiting for someone else to get myself drunk. Aaaaaah, I drank so much, I loved it. The music, games, everything was just awesome. I felt great. And then my lithuanian friends came over. I had a feeling something was off, but if I'm being completely honest, I knew something was off long before yesterday. I just chose to ignore it simply because I try not to let people go so easily. Especially when they were an important part of my life. But Imagine how I felt when they were so into their phones, giggling and when they noticed that I'm confused, one of them showed me a smile they were laughing at. Funny thing was, they were texting each other and the message before said that he wants to go home. It wasn't even an hour when they came over, so it obviously made me mad. I didn't say anything, but you know, to keep my mind off, I had another drink. It was fun, honestly, we were playing this drinking game and I truly felt everyone was having a great time. Apparently not. And then it came the time to get my cake out and blow my candles and just hear them singing happy birthday. You know, the best part of the birthday. And instead of being in the room they just went for a smoke. They came in after I blew the candles out and ate the cake and after that they left, saying they have some business in the morning. At that point I was pretty wasted, so I'm pretty sure I said something sarcastic. I walked them to the gates, I demanded for my hugs for goodbye and they left. I obviously went back and had a great time with others, because nothing can make me sad on my day.
But I woke up today and this feeling had been haunting me the whole day. That something is missing. Like I have let something go. And I was talking about it with my friend, she said she is hoping I'm pushing all this negativity out of my life and if I'm being honest, I really want to. I don't need friends who don't put me at least once a year first. I have been trying way too hard to keep my friends close to me. I give up, ok? I give up on that. If you need me, it has to be mutual. I'm not chasing after anyone anymore.
And you know, that girl tried adding me on facebook again, but I just declined. I don't need this anymore.

I'm freaking free, ok? I don't need anyone who doesn't need me.

By the way, my Godmother gave me a super-nice and expensive ring and like huge bouquet of flowers and then a golden belly piercing. Literally, the best present <3 and her boyfriend took us out for breakfast. I wish I could have enjoyed it more, but with two hours of sleep I was not in the state to be in the public or eat a stake. But hey, it's the thought that counts, right?

I just want to thank everyone for their Birthday wishes. I received so many of them, I love you all!<3

#nogif