And thank God I was. For the past three hours I've double checked every snap I sent so my crush wouldn't get my ugly snap. Not that he hasn't seen me at my worst anyway. At least those times were unintentional, you know.
Anyway, I just really wanted to say it somewhere, but I doubt fb post would be appropriate (although I've been posting a lot there :| ) You know, the word 'crush' sounds really stupid to me. I feel like I'm the only one who still uses it. Like, who has a crush nowadays anyway? They meet up, they say 'i like you' and then they become fuckbuddies or 'in a relationship'. You don't crush over someone anymore. You see they're not interested and you move on. Am I really that old-fashioned? How the hell can I be old fashioned, I'm not even twenty yet! Anyway. I crush. Alot. I crush on my friends, I crush on passengers, I crush on so many people. And then one of those crushes becomes like ultimate crush and I really hate that. How can you crush onto someone who, you defo know, is not interested?
Ok, you know what, that's not what I wanted to talk at all. I wanted to tell you guys that on Thursday I FINALLY met up with my boys. I defo forgot how lovely it is to hang out with them. Now, you probably wander what's so awesome about them. Well, generally, because it's them. But overall, there is nothing special about them. I just feel so relaxed around them. I feel like I'm actually around friends and if you know me, it's a huge deal for me. I got them their Christmas presents and they got me some Christmas presents as well! (I'm so positive they had no idea what I like, it's so funny). So one gave me a wonderful scarf which I dont want to wear outside because I don't wanna ruin it :( the second gift I got was two boxes of sweets (I mean, what else would I want) and the third one was scented candle shaped as stag. (and my boy forgot to take the price away, which is hilarious). And on top of all of this, they were kind enough to offer me some of their stuff they had. Oh no, I said it. Shhh, don't call the cops.
Yes, I know, it is very unhealthy, but yolo, amirite? no, just kidding, I just wanted to try it out. again. Anyway, that's off the topic. We were watching something on tv, literally barely talking (oh, we played cards before all of it, so that's our talk). We ate so many sweets, it's kind of sad. I eat alot these days. It's probably to hide the fact that I'm spending holidays alone again. Meh. whatevs.
But anyway, this seems like nothing, but it actually meant so much to me. (I just got a feeling that if I'd tell them this, I might look like someone who tries to keep them close by making them feel guilty. God I am an overthinker). I mean, I don't know how to explain it. It's just... it's really nice.
My co-workers yesterday were discussing that I need a boyfriend. And my answer was 'why would I need one if I have four?' and they tried to disagree by saying that's not what they meant. Well, I mean, I talk about my sexuality quite freely, but c'mon, there is no need to tell me I need to get proper laid. Not in an angry tone, don't worry, I understand this was for banter or smth.
I packed presents for my family as well. So much stuff to put in. Ok, not much, but most of it is pretty fragile, so we need to be extra careful by handling it. Gosh, why did I decide to buy fragile stuff, hm? Now all I need is to find someone to actually deliver it to my family. It's so lame I can't be with them.
Aaaand we're not talking/thinking about this. Stop it, Judita.
OH, GUYS I HAD ANOTHER DREAM OF MY MUM!! and it was good. and lovely. We were hanging out like old times and it was so awesome! I wish I had that kind of dreams all the time. Maybe it's my new dream catcher that does it's job properly <3 not saying old one didn't, it's just... maybe I don't know. Maybe it can't tell a difference between good or bad dream when it involves someone I dearly miss.
See you later guys, anyway xx
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