Been tryin to stay positive, k?

Right, ok, let's focus.

I've been depressed lately. And the main reason (probably) was because I didn't hang out with my other friends. And everywhere I looked it seemed like I'm not liked by anyone. You know what? Screw that. It's their problem if they don't like me, I'm fabulous. I know that sometimes I can be a bitch, but honestly, if I was nice all the time, everyone would start using me. Not that they're not doing it right now, but you know, it would become uncontrollable. Unless I don't feel when I'm used anymore. But enough about this.
You know what I dreamt today, just before waking up? I dreamt that I was back home and my sister wouldn't let me go. I dreamt that we went to sleep together and she squeezed herself so close to me so I wouldn't disappear. And I woke up and I could feel where her little hands were on my body. I miss my sister so much. And my brother. And aunties. I miss everyone I'm going crazy. It's been nine months since the last time I saw them.

But we should not talk about sad things, right? Halloween is around the corner and I'm pretty excited to celebrate it. I mean, I have no idea what I'm doing on Monday night, but for Saturday we have a Halloween theme at the club, so here you go. I wanna be a princess. I bought a little fairy crown as well, my housemate said she would lend me a pink tutu, so I'm going to be pretty. Or sexy, depends on the makeup. Am I sexy, tho? I feel like my smile is to sweet to be sexy. Unless what I think of sweet is sexy to someone else? Confusing, I tell you.

I just read an article that I shared a few years ago on facebook and it was 'what it's like to have more guy friends than girl friends' or something like that and it sounded pretty accurate. Not that I agreed with all of them, but few were pretty good. That reminded me that I always had more boys around me than girls. Ah, I miss my old gang as well, they were so fun. Well, except my first crush who ruined our friendship by getting a psycho girlfriend. But hey, if he's happy, I'm happier. But my point is, I can't remember if I had those days when I felt that boys didn't want me with them. I guess they'd always find time to hang out with me, even if it was for a little bit. Gosh, I miss my friends. I should defo text them sometimes. I hate that I forget to keep in touch with most of my friends from Lithuania. I really care about them, I'm sorry :(

anyway, gotta go, ttyl xx

love you xx

gif from 'thats-the-teen-spirit' thanks ;3