I swear I thought it was just a few days :(
Nothing really happened this week. I woke up, I went to work, I slept, I woke up, I went to work. That's it. I didn't make any money, so fun times. Literally, I wanted to take a day off on Thursday, because I felt that I just needed some time for myself, but then I got in a 'serious talk' with my employer and I continued to work until Saturday without making a penny for myself. Thank God for Sunday. I know I will be asked why the fuck I didn't go extra mile and worked today, but I'm pretty sure that now, when I got my rest, I am going to be fine.
Ok, yeah, another reason why I was so stressed out this week was because of the money. I know, I know, it's my common problem and you probably don't want to hear it anymore, but seriously, I have no idea how I will manage to pay my double rent over the summer. That is so not fair. I'm actually not even sure how much I'll have to pay to have my stuff at my new house. And apparently guys are going to live like 20 mins away from me next year, so that's even sadder. I might as well just spend most of my days at their place, if we're still friends. Don't worry, I'm not fighting with them, it's just I know how easy it is to lose contact with old friends. I texted my girls from Lithuania and we barely had a conversation. Literally two words in the group chat that we had for ages. Apparently, no one really misses me there ^-^
But yeah, apart that, everything is going normal. I got results for my final #1 elan assignment and I passed it, so I'm really proud of myself. I still manage to live off what I have though you should definitely see my fridge. I need some serious shopping to do, but that's gonna happen on Tuesday when I'll get paid. Even though that money should go towards my rent. Well, I'll see how much I made that week and then decide. Honestly, can't remember the last time I cleaned my room. It's a disaster and I would be so ashamed if anyone would see it. But then again, I get back from work and it's the least of my concerns to actually clean it up. Yeah, I'm a messy person, what can I do.
Anyway. Remember the time I told you about that awkward conversation with one of my guys after stuff almost happened? God, I'm not even sure now if I told you this. But basically, it's 'take one for the team' and sleep with one of the guys so we'd make sure he's not gay. I mean, as much as I like my guys, my sex life is still my own problem. And genuinely, if I'm being absolutely honest, I wouldn't fuck most of them. I'm not being mean, they are attractive people, but the more I'm spending my time with them, the more flaws I see and less I'd want to actually do it with any of the guys. But yeah, I've started spending nights there now. Like yesterday, I came over to watch a movie, because I just wanted to chill, we ended up drinking and going to bed around 7. I was too lazy to go home, I didn't really wanted to sleep there, but then again, guys went upstairs and I got comfy on the sofa where I actually fell asleep. Well, until guys came down to drag me upstairs with them. Honestly, sometimes I want to punch them. I realised that one of my guys shouldn't be drinking. Like, seriously, he becomes sooooooo annoying and you know me, I'm just looking for an opportunity to pick a fight. I'm guessing what stopped me was the other friend who literally distracted me by tickling me until I couldn't breath. Anyway, yeah, I'm pretty sure I did slap the annoying one at least once. I'm mean person, what can I do....
Anyway, if we're talking about my friends, I haven't spoken about one in a while. Remember the one I tumblr rpg with? Well, I haven't done that in a few months now, but that's because I was so busy.But yeah, I mean, I did like her a lot and quite recently she told me she likes me more than a friendly way. Well, she lives soooo so far away, what could I say? I mean, I regret it, but let's face it, I have a crush on someone else to actually try doing long distant relationship with her. Devastating, truly, because I can't remember the last time we actually spoke. And then again, I do think about her from time to time. Especially when someone brings up my sexuality. I mean, I am pretty sure I am bisexual, but since I haven't been in any relationship before, I can't be absolutely sure.
But yeah, I'll stop talking about my love life now, it's getting to confusing for myself. I ordered new photos and they came really fast! So now I have my guys on the wall as well! It's really nice, I wish you could see it. I showed it to my aunt via skype and she started laughing that there are more pics of them than anyone else, including my family. Well, what can I do, it's really hard to get one decent picture of all of my guys. I printed a few of my selfies as well, because I'm so inlove with them. Now they are just right next to my bed, under the fairy lights. Looks absolutely amazing, I love it so much. Shame my pms ruined my beautiful skin by giving me terrible acne this month. And awful mood swings as well. I had like three panic attacks recently and uuugh it's so annoying. I went to Boots to find something for stress relief but I'm so not paying 10 quid for a pill, fuck it. Should I just find some catnip or however it's called and be high all day? Sounds like a fun thing to do.
Ok, now I'm out of ideas of what to tell you. Oh, wait. I have a stalker. Not the daily one, but everything started when I was walking home one day and I noticed that someone follows me. I stopped on one of the corners facing the wrong side to 'check my phone' he walked past me and then I hurried up where I needed to go. Shame, I had to stop for a traffic light and like half a minute later, he was standing near. I can't tell you how scared I went into my apartments. My hands were literally shaking. I saw him wandering around another day and then when I was working, he was wandering around my working place again. I haven't seen him in a few days now, but it's still scary. I told my colleagues about it just in case, I told my friends (they obviously made a joke out of it to make me less scared or at least that's what I'm thinking) and I actually googled how to get rid of the stalker. Not really helpful, obviously. But yeah, just in case I'll get missing, have in mind that it might be this creep. I mean, one person said that maybe he just lives nearby, but how will you explain that he came back from the wrong direction I was facing to the traffic light I was waiting? I would have forgotten it already, but it still scares me that suddenly he needed to go the same way I did.
Anyway, have a nice evening, I'm gonna go make myself a cup of tea, play instaniquarium and go to sleep to get ready for my work day tomorrow where I'll obviously get hammered.
love you all so so much xx
No comments:
Post a Comment