Yeah.
Um...
I actually honestly wanted to cry all the shit out of me. I even watched the sad movie. But noo, my laptop and wi-fi are not having it at all. It's been three or four hours when I was trying to have a good cry about something else than missing someone. And I fucking can't. why? I mean, I was always able to do that. LIke, cry for everything and anything whenever I felt like it. And now, look at me. I need a fucking movie to do it. And it still doesn't work. Am I not normal? Or wasn't I normal before?I hate this, honestly. I want to cry and here I am, unable to. I feel that everything would be so much better afterwards. When was the last time I had a good cry? Probably while going home from the club. Wait, no. That was anxiety. Was it New Years? Yeah, I think so. But I always cry when I'm too happy, so that doesn't count, does it? Anyway, I do really really want to cry. Like, really. I need that. I have so many things in my head that would be gone if I just could cry. But noooo. My belongings and my body doesn't want me to get better. Well, you know what? I hope you do, because I don't. Ugh. Should I hurt myself to start crying? Naah. I just need a sad song and a hot shower, right? Right? Ok, I'm gonna try that now. Gotta go, love you guys.
x
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