Hey my sweet little best guys ever!
I feel so fine today! No, not fine. Well, fine, but... Oh, I don't know the word, ok? Ok? Damn, this assignment is killing me. Not that I updating my blog to procrastinate, but yeah, I am. I need like 100 more words and I can't. Literally, my fingers refus to listen to me when we open word app on my laptop. Like, they just stops and then after that goes to he mousepad and then clicks on facebook or blog page. This is a siiiiign! I should write here more often. I do have urges to share everything with you guys, but I kind of want my posts to be long and if I'm on my phone it's a real pain in the ass to write something decent. That's why few of my posts had like 3 sentences or so. And the sentences weren't even that good. Oh well.
Anyway, what do I want to talk about today? I'm guessing the same topic I do talk everyday now. Friendship and friends. Like, seriously, they are a world for me and I don't know how could I live without them. I know it might be a bit boring, to listen to me bragging about it, but seriously, they are the most awesome people I know. But I don't want to say how awesome they are today. I want to talk about how quickly you can distance yourself from someone if they gets false information about you. It's not confirmed, but as my anxiety is whispering to me, someone might have found out about my little crush over them and that's why they stared to avoid me. And trust me, this made me feel like an absolute shit for a few days. I don't really want to talk about that alot, but I want to be honest. Like, I had a guy best friend that I was absolutely in love with and it was absolutely fine for me that we didn't ended up as a couple. While being here I haven't felt anything even slightly similar to the crush I had to that guy back in my past (that I can't even stand right now, he's absolute shit and I'm not even exagurating). I mean, it was my first month here, someone was really nice to me and it was so strange I confused crush with friendship. You know how long I haven't felt anyone so close to me? I mean, yeah, I had my aunties and Grandma but it wasn't the same. I thing the last time I felt like this was with my ex-best friend that I miss right now so fucking much. If not her, then my Mum. Well, the point is, I mixed it and after I started talking about, I realised that I lie. I always know when I lie but you know what they say. After you speak, there is no way back. So, yeah, I just hoped I could play it out with no one noticing what mistake I made. So, yeah. Apparently, my plan didn't work. My bestie from the first month became someone I barely hang around with. Like, I can't remember the last time I saw him and he used to take me from work and sit at my place drinking tea until 2 in the morning. Of course, I have another friend that does the same now, but who knows how long will this last. I hope it will last, I fucking love my friends. All of them. I just need to sort out what level of friends all of them are. Ugh, I need a chart. Actually, I need selfies with them, then it would be easier. That's it, we're gonna have a lot of selfies, guys. Get ready.
Anyway, this post seems pretty long now. I'm doing too much procrastinating and I should stop right here. Love you guys x
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