You can smile when Everything is wrong, you know?

So, this is me, Two years ago, in my first photoshoot. It was like, maybe two weeks after my Mum passed away? I'm not sure, but I know it wasn't long after. Can you see my smile? I was smiling even though at that time I didn't have my most Precious Person in the world. By that time, I haven't cried yet. I think I started to realise about whats happening when I got the photoshoots pictures back. I looked at this one and I thought "Damn girl. You look so happy. How?".
After a while, I, ofcouse, needed to share my modeling talents on facebook. I wanted to capture this one with words, that would mean something. So I starred at it for a while and went with "I can smile not because I am strong. I can smile, because You didn't go anywhere. You are here. I can feel that." You do know what it is about, don't you? Well, the point is, I love (still do) my Mum so much, I can't really let Her go. Never. I have a wedding ring of Hers,  I took it off just now because It started to fall from my finger. It never happened before so, I'm trying to figure what does it means. It should mean something, right? I'm too suspicious about this, aren't I? Well, thats my problem - I have my own world I live in and everything there is based on my point of view. That's why I don't cry like a baby everyday. I smile, I laugh, I live. It's because I know, that my Parents are with me even if I can't see them. I know They protect me and watch me living my life, so I want Them to be happy for me. I want Them to be proud of me. And knowing, that They see me crying hurts me even more. Because everytime I cried, Mum said that I'm breaking Her heart. Can you even imagine what can She possibly be feeling now, when She can't even hug me? When She has to see me hugging the pillow so tight it nearly rips. I don't want Her to see all of this. That's why I smile. I want to show to my lovely Mum, that I'm a big girl now. That She doesn't need to worry about me. Am I doing a good job? I hope I am.
And yes, my dear readers, in the last paragraph I used word "Them", because my Dear Mother is not alone. My so-long-gone-now Daddy is there too. I can't really remember Him, since He passed 13 years ago. I respect Him so much. You know why? Because He said goodbye before leaving. And that is the only real memory I have of Him. I love my Dad, even though I've just heard stories about what He was like. They say I look alot like Him. Well, knowing that most of my relatives tells me I look alot like my Mum, I can assume they were similar. I have Their wedding picture in my room. They are so happy together in that photo. I really hope Those to sorted everything out and now are together again. Both watching over me. At least I get to see Them in my dreams. I miss them so fucking much it nearly destroys me. Everytime I think about it. But Hey! They can wait even an eternity for me, right? So I'll live a happy life, make Them proud of me and meet them when it's time, right? Right. 
Now, Honeys, stop shredding tears about my crappy life and put a big smile in your face. You never know who wathes you from above! You can be breaking someones heart while crying, so, do that just when you cannot hold it anymore, 'kay? Smile! It doesn't cost anything and you can brighten someones day just because your mood is good! Please, smile everytime you see someone you like. Smile even for those, whom you don't like. It annoys them and makes you even happier! Anyways, see you tomorrow with more stuff to tell.

Wish you the best day/night in your 24h!

Gif, ofcourse, is from "liftilraunshe", from tumblr.com Thank you for sharing it ;)