Pizza and stuff you know

Kick me

No, like, don't hurt me, I'm sensitive to pain, ok? But like I can't seem to get back on track with my healthy living. It is soooo haaard. It's like my life doesn't want me to be healthy. Since my Birthday day I haven't tried eating healthy, been snacking so much I can't even, ok? Bad, Judita, Bad.

But anyway, this whole week was somehow soothing. I've been having positive thoughts, I haven't thought about certain people for quite some time and I'm really proud to say I still don't want to date. Ok, to be fair, I have thought about it, but it sounds so troublesome, I can't be arsed with it. Who has time to date anyway. I'd rather watch tv-shows and pretend that I don't want someone hugging me at night. I mean, I don't even use Brad anymore, I don't know why. I just sleep on the pile of blankets and decorative pillows even though it does not help my back at all. What can I say, it's comfortable until I fall asleep.

Anyway, I'm not doing the long post, just wanted to let you know I wanna get back on track with my healthy living.

lots of love xx

gif from'snap-back-to-reality' thank you ;3

Making some changes

Hey guys!

This is going to be short, I don't have much time. I just really want to tell this.
As you all know (or not) yesterday was my Birthday. Something about birthdays always fascinated me. I love my birthdays. Maybe because I know that it's one day when everything is about me and I can feel myself. That means that I will not take shit from anyone. Pretty simple to figure it out, really.
And you know, I love having my birthday party. It's time when all of my friends should make an effort to show me how much they truly care about me. Knowing my insecurities, that is like, super important for me. So you can imagine how much I was hurt when I got a text message from one of these so called friends saying she's not coming to my party. We obviously had an argument and she said to message her when I realize that I'm being silly. For you know what? For saying that it is super important for me. And ah, sweet irony, after that she unfriended me on facebook. Now tell me is that not silly?
But yeah, that was the first thing that triggered me on my day, but I was so determined to have a good time, I let it slip and just pushed it out of my mind.
The evening was pretty cool. I was planning to start my party around 8, so obvs I played music and ordered pizzas for around that time. Apparently, my lithuanian friends had other plans, because they showed up after ten or so. I mean, my housemates and few more friends were already there and I did not see the point of waiting for someone else to get myself drunk. Aaaaaah, I drank so much, I loved it. The music, games, everything was just awesome. I felt great. And then my lithuanian friends came over. I had a feeling something was off, but if I'm being completely honest, I knew something was off long before yesterday. I just chose to ignore it simply because I try not to let people go so easily. Especially when they were an important part of my life. But Imagine how I felt when they were so into their phones, giggling and when they noticed that I'm confused, one of them showed me a smile they were laughing at. Funny thing was, they were texting each other and the message before said that he wants to go home. It wasn't even an hour when they came over, so it obviously made me mad. I didn't say anything, but you know, to keep my mind off, I had another drink. It was fun, honestly, we were playing this drinking game and I truly felt everyone was having a great time. Apparently not. And then it came the time to get my cake out and blow my candles and just hear them singing happy birthday. You know, the best part of the birthday. And instead of being in the room they just went for a smoke. They came in after I blew the candles out and ate the cake and after that they left, saying they have some business in the morning. At that point I was pretty wasted, so I'm pretty sure I said something sarcastic. I walked them to the gates, I demanded for my hugs for goodbye and they left. I obviously went back and had a great time with others, because nothing can make me sad on my day.
But I woke up today and this feeling had been haunting me the whole day. That something is missing. Like I have let something go. And I was talking about it with my friend, she said she is hoping I'm pushing all this negativity out of my life and if I'm being honest, I really want to. I don't need friends who don't put me at least once a year first. I have been trying way too hard to keep my friends close to me. I give up, ok? I give up on that. If you need me, it has to be mutual. I'm not chasing after anyone anymore.
And you know, that girl tried adding me on facebook again, but I just declined. I don't need this anymore.

I'm freaking free, ok? I don't need anyone who doesn't need me.

By the way, my Godmother gave me a super-nice and expensive ring and like huge bouquet of flowers and then a golden belly piercing. Literally, the best present <3 and her boyfriend took us out for breakfast. I wish I could have enjoyed it more, but with two hours of sleep I was not in the state to be in the public or eat a stake. But hey, it's the thought that counts, right?

I just want to thank everyone for their Birthday wishes. I received so many of them, I love you all!<3

#nogif

Live to the fulliest, amirite

Hellaw ;3

I said hello and I've stopped for a second to think. I can't remember how to write my own blog. Good Job. Or maybe I was trying to remember if anything happened to me in the past month. I have started eating more healthy (with cheeky cheat meals, because, c'mon, pizza), I have spent a lot of money on stupid things, but I still manage, so that's fine. I really don't feel like talking about sad stuff, because I've been nagging on this blog too much. And I do feel great, so why ruin it, right?
I mean, I have a reason to be sad today, my dear Mum would be 40 today. I still wish Her a Happy Birthday, because I imagine Her being wherever She is and partying with whoever She wants. I mean, I'd rather party with Her, but you know, whatever works.

Right. As I said, I'd rather talk about things that wouldn't make me sad. I don't want to talk about work anymore, because it has become a little bit monotonic. I mean, I still love it, but it's just monotonic. I can't talk about people around me, because honestly, I don't really talk to anyone and even if I do, it's about weather. I'd rather message my hun who's in Lithuania. Gosh, I wish she lived closer. I bet we'd be a nightmare for nightclubs.

Oh. One of my classmates has a healthy food blog! I'd offer you to check it out, but it's in Lithuanian, so I'm not sure how many of you can actually read and understand it haha. I really enjoy reading it. As someone who recently started to be interested in healthy living, I'm getting all the help I can get. I have decided to go to the gym as well, I just haven't found someone to go with me. Because if I'm alone, I don't know what to do there. At least with someone I have a little bit of a push to try harder.

Oh my Gosh, I haven't told you about my tattoo! I have fixed the one on my arm!

How much better it is, am I right? I love it to the moon and back. It looks so much freaking better I can't believe I actually had the first one over a year on my arm.
And I got another one. I'm debating whether I should put it on here or not, but the pic seems ok. And I really wanna show it off haha

Now, for my native speakers, I don't need to translate it, but I do need to explain why šypsokis is written as šipsokis. I'm not sure how many of you knew my Mum, but She had a lot of surgeries in the past, which means She skipped a lot of classes and had a lot of anesthesias which, lets face it, doesn't help with memory. She wrote this for me a long time ago, when I asked her to write a few sentences. It was like a game. Tell me where would you like to go, tell me what do you most like about me and so on. And She said that the most She likes about me is my Laugh and in the braces, She added to smile more. And here you go, years later, I have found this piece of paper with my Mums handwriting, telling me to smile more. I mean, I couldn't not do it. I've put it there simply because it was closest to the heart. It means so hella much to me, I couldn't image it being anywhere else.

So yeah, now I'm thinking of having more tattoos as I just love that therapy. It's just money that I don't have. Well, one day, right? I still need to stumble on something I would like on my body.

And that's pretty much. I have no idea what else should I tell you. I really hope to start writing my blog again, it really helps to keep my writing in place. My writing skills went downhill, apparently. I barely passed my module work and it's just terrible. Anyway, no bad thoughts.

I love you guys, have a good day x